I was an extra in Eclipse. Pretty funny, eh? All things considered. You can see me a few times in the brief flashback scene of Jasper in the Civil War. I was photographed and put on a teen celebrity gossip site as someone else. My life is funny. So, I wrote this song and put a video up on youtube. Hope you laugh!
Now, some of you may be floored
by my lack of enthusiasm
for this second wave, second rate,
plague of Harry Potter ism;
but I dont see what the deal is;
I must be missing something,
cause Twilight aint the Beatles
and Robbies aint John Lennon.
(Hopefully that will be
the very last instance
their names appear together
in the same sentence.)
I much prefer my vampires
with fangs that make girls swoon
with their pump-action, dual-function,
entry-exit wounds.
I was waiting for my breakthrough
but the timing wasnt right.
Now, Im shining like any other star
within the starry night.
I was an extra in Twilight.
Id be lying if I said it was
the highlight of my life.
I was an extra in Twilight.
Catch me in my role-
Im third shadow to the right.
-
For a while I was standing there
a little bit confused.
I asked Whats my motivation?
I asked What should I do?
Then I heard the director,
a booming voice that said:
Fill the void, dont be the void:
Its like youre living but youre dead.
But he must not have noticed me
cause then he spat onto my shoe.
-
One thing I really
dont understand
is why the lead characters
arent getting it on.
After munching these few hours
on this big screen eye-candy,
everybody watchings
getting hungry for the bone.
Were all getting hungry for the bone!
It might be the Mormon writer,
and it might be Robbies jeans,
but both Mormons and vampires
love to tap the sap of teens.
-
So, you all realize that thing about the director
spitting on my shoe was a metaphor for the invisibility
of the working class, and it never actually happened, right?
Cause I got this thing about not wanting to get sued.
Sorry Mr. Director.
Rap:
I got nothing but professional respect for you,
but that shit won't go viral on youtube.
-
I was a starving artist down on my luck
and now Ive got... 200 bucks
and this true, new, unique pick up line:
Hey, I was an extra on Twilight. Do you wanna fuck?
(I was thinking Id try it out in the high schools.
It might work on a couple teenagers. I dunno.)
I was waiting for my breakthrough
but the timing wasnt right.
Now, Im shining like any other star
in the starry night.
I was an extra in Twilight.
Maybe I wrote this song
as a therapy for spite.
I was an extra in Twilight.
Catch me in my role-
Im third shadow to the right!
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